5 years

Today is my 5 year anniversary of working at NHS Digital.

There’s been a lot that’s happened in the past 5 years. If I had to use one word to describe much of it, I would use the word battle.

Knowing which battles to fight and which to leave.
Losing some and winning others.
Battling with myself.

In-fact this 5 year journey started with a battle that was lost.

Two weeks into working here, I found out my mum’s cancer had returned. A month into working here, she died. Every work anniversary reminds me of this period of my life and the battle to figure out how the world could keep going when she wasn’t here anymore.

But losing this battle to save mum made me realise that things do carry on after you have lost.

They also carry on whether you like it or not.

And you carry on in spite of this loss.

Losing that battle helped me realise what was worth fighting for. It made me realise you can’t win all the battles however much you want to.

When you lose really important battles you still somehow carry on.

There are also things that you lose when you fight the wrong ones.

These are the things that I need to keep remembering.